Sarah Everard and the Problem with #NotallMen

Sarah Everard is a 33-year-old woman dressed in brightly coloured walking clothes going home one evening; she was on the phone with her partner. She was last seen alive at 9.30 pm on March 3rd, five days before international women's day.

After several days of police searching, human remains were discovered in a wooded area in Kent on Wednesday, 10th March. A Met Police officer has been arrested after the disappearance and is being questioned on suspicion of murder and kidnap. Many responses to this have been horror that a police officer whose ethos is to serve and protect can abuse his power and authority. However, another response was that the police officer was not on duty at the time.

Sarah's kidnapping and death has provoked an outpour of shock and anger as women across the country share their own experiences of feeling unsafe, including how they change their behaviours to feel safe walking home at night.

Subsequently, one hashtag that has recently started trending on social media is '#CurfewForMen.'

Green Party Peer; Baroness Jones created the hashtag, suggested a 6:00 pm curfew for men following Sarah's disappearance. Per the Independent, she made this suggestion to the House of Lords during a debate on the Domestic Abuse Bill.

Jones said: "In the week that Sarah Everard was abducted, and we suppose killed because remains have been found in a woodland in Kent, I would argue that at the next opportunity for any bill that's appropriate I might actually put in an amendment to create a curfew for men on the streets after 6 pm, which I feel would make women a lot safer and discrimination of all kinds would be lessened."

Sarah did the "right things"; she contacted her partner, walked in sensible shoes, was not wearing revealing clothing but rather was dressed for comfort, walked past CCTV in bright, memorable clothing, and still never came home.

If a woman, any woman changing their behaviours to keep themselves safe at night, if these precautions that have been pushed and taught to us from a young age due to the gender we identify as can't keep us safe, then what can?

A woman has been murdered and we are seeing men asking if she was drunk, why didn't she take a taxi, what was she alone, what was she wearing, this is the problem, women should be able to do what they want without fear that they won't make it home.

But on social media, we have men adrift in their own ignorance. Arguing that their whole gender should not be "cancelled" or "punished for one man's mistake," There should not be a "curfew for all men." There has also been a downpour of angry men - angry at the narrative of "all men." They have since responded with several tweets about #notallmen which was trending last night on Twitter.

One of the many problems with "not all men" is that a woman has died, who was murdered, and not all men hashtag is just men screaming "but I haven't murdered her!"

That's not the point; the point is that 97% of young women in the UK have been harassed, up to 90% of women know their rapist or know someone who has been harassed, assaulted, and abused, but do men know the perpetrators?

Logically, women know that not all men do this, but we don't know which men do this. So, until it becomes apparent that no men do it at all, that's when we can it's not all men.

Many people say we need to stop painting men with the same brush; however, as Slate writer Phil Slates states, "

"women know this, They already know not every man is a rapist, or a murderer, or violent. They don't need you to tell them. Second, it's defensive. When people are defensive, they aren't listening to the other person; they're busy thinking of ways to defend themselves. I watched this happen on Twitter, over and again. Third, the people saying it aren't furthering the conversation. They're sidetracking it."

He also says:

"—when a woman is walking down the street, or on a blind date, or, yes, in an elevator alone, she doesn't know which group you're in. You might be the potential best guy ever in the history of history, but there's no way for her to know that. A fraction of men out there are most definitely not in that group. Which are you? Inside your head you know, but outside your head it's impossible to"

We know there are good men out there, but we are talking about the ones who aren't the ones who abuse their power and abuse women and young girls because of it.

Because you are right; it is not all men - not all men call out their friends for being misogynistic, not all men allow women to express their experiences without shouting over them. Not all men accept their privilege when it comes to sexual violence. Too many women pay for the shortcomings and failings.

If you are a man and you are offended by #notallmen and #curfewformen, if you are upset by the current narrative, then feel free to change it, call out the rapists, call out the behaviour you sometimes allow your friends to get away with, call out the men who catcall, let women talk about their experiences, if you sit back and let it happen then you are apart of the problem. Be apart of the solution.

A woman's priority, sometimes their main priority, is to get through the day without being sexually abused, assaulted, and harassed. They live in a culture of never-ending fear. They worry about women after them experiencing the same thing. This culture can end if Men do something about it.

Sarah Everard is one of many women who have lost their lives to violence; her family and friends are going through the worst moment of their lives right now, so instead of focusing on what she was doing and what she was wearing, let's focus on never letting this happen again.

Sign this petition to ask your MP to get misogyny classified as a hate crime, so that the government has to record data on crimes motivated by hatred of women. The vote takes placed on the 15th March so it is urgent we act now.